The story is good so far I just wish I could get a audio book copy so I can listen to it in my car as I go to work I enjoy audiobooks I have some of your other books on audio Haven't finished the collection yet Working on buying them all
Excellent so far. It's coming along quickly, though, and just a word of caution... To write the surface well is a talent you clearly have. Scenes move quickly and purposefully with vivid details that don't outstay their welcome. It remains to be seen if there is also an epic structure beneath that surface.
Anyone can toss out mystery boxes, and an audience will be energized by the promise...for a while. X-Files did it. Lost did it. Game of Thrones did it. When it came time to open the boxes and reveal the deeper brilliance behind the teasing, that was when audiences fell off disappointed and dissatisfied. I just want to say, be aware of where you're going. You can discover your way there if the piece is not too long. A novella can grow from a gardener, but a novel takes more planning to hold itself up with intentional worldbuilding and intentional narrative symbolism or parallelism to tie related characters and events together. Further, symbols tie the story to the real world and to other great stories. The snakes of Slytherin were clearly a nod to the snake in Eden, for example.
Please, don't think I'm trying to control or criticize your writing. It's just that I've seen a lot of NaNoWriMo projects start strong and fizzle out because "just write" is not a good way to produce a novel--it almost never works--and I enjoy this *so much* that I really want it to be going somewhere philosophically and emotionally rewarding in the end. The inventive details that liven a scene will need to remain consistent for a character and for the world now, making invention harder as the story grows. That's just the burden of worldbuilding. As for the deeper skeleton, you can just tell one of the great stories of heroism and romance. It never gets old.
First chapter is well written but I doubt that I'll be continuing. Up top, Jon says "If you like Harry Potter or Japanese fantasy light novels" and I am not that target demographic.
One typo spotted: "I shook t". I didn't notice anything else. (The curse of the semi-pro editor; can't turn it off.)
I wanted to thank you for making this chapter free. I was on the fence about subscribing, trying to balance my desire to continue supporting your work with my budget. But reading this chapter made me want to read this story as it was coming out rather than wait for the full novel to be finished and published. Even without meeting Corrine yet, I knew this was a world I wanted to read about.
Keep up the good work, Jon. I’m happy to be able to support both your journalism and your fiction.
I hope you release an ebook/audio book version. My wife and I decided years ago not to do monthly subscriptions except for prime for the free shipping but I have bought a lot of your ebooks and listen to the audio books with them. I have enjoyed the two free chapters one and five. When it comes to ebook I will surely get it.
The story is good so far I just wish I could get a audio book copy so I can listen to it in my car as I go to work I enjoy audiobooks I have some of your other books on audio Haven't finished the collection yet Working on buying them all
I think Substack has an audio feature it does it through AI?
If you have an iphone you can use the Accessibility feature Read & Speak to to read books aloud. I use that in my car everyday.
(takes a slow deep breath and counts coins until the lights stop buzzing.)
That was excellent. If that had been the introduction to Harry's first book, it would have made for better reading.
Having the compasses orient on his is better than an owl with a letter any day.
Excellent so far. It's coming along quickly, though, and just a word of caution... To write the surface well is a talent you clearly have. Scenes move quickly and purposefully with vivid details that don't outstay their welcome. It remains to be seen if there is also an epic structure beneath that surface.
Anyone can toss out mystery boxes, and an audience will be energized by the promise...for a while. X-Files did it. Lost did it. Game of Thrones did it. When it came time to open the boxes and reveal the deeper brilliance behind the teasing, that was when audiences fell off disappointed and dissatisfied. I just want to say, be aware of where you're going. You can discover your way there if the piece is not too long. A novella can grow from a gardener, but a novel takes more planning to hold itself up with intentional worldbuilding and intentional narrative symbolism or parallelism to tie related characters and events together. Further, symbols tie the story to the real world and to other great stories. The snakes of Slytherin were clearly a nod to the snake in Eden, for example.
Please, don't think I'm trying to control or criticize your writing. It's just that I've seen a lot of NaNoWriMo projects start strong and fizzle out because "just write" is not a good way to produce a novel--it almost never works--and I enjoy this *so much* that I really want it to be going somewhere philosophically and emotionally rewarding in the end. The inventive details that liven a scene will need to remain consistent for a character and for the world now, making invention harder as the story grows. That's just the burden of worldbuilding. As for the deeper skeleton, you can just tell one of the great stories of heroism and romance. It never gets old.
First chapter is well written but I doubt that I'll be continuing. Up top, Jon says "If you like Harry Potter or Japanese fantasy light novels" and I am not that target demographic.
One typo spotted: "I shook t". I didn't notice anything else. (The curse of the semi-pro editor; can't turn it off.)
I wanted to thank you for making this chapter free. I was on the fence about subscribing, trying to balance my desire to continue supporting your work with my budget. But reading this chapter made me want to read this story as it was coming out rather than wait for the full novel to be finished and published. Even without meeting Corrine yet, I knew this was a world I wanted to read about.
Keep up the good work, Jon. I’m happy to be able to support both your journalism and your fiction.
I hope you release an ebook/audio book version. My wife and I decided years ago not to do monthly subscriptions except for prime for the free shipping but I have bought a lot of your ebooks and listen to the audio books with them. I have enjoyed the two free chapters one and five. When it comes to ebook I will surely get it.
Too much AI. Got bored
Whoa!
Hey, Jon, are you looking forward to make the book for this story?